(See posts one, two, and three of the ‘Modest is Hottest?’ series.)
Anonymous guy #6:
I think we have to consider both sides of this argument, it is neither just the females that need to think about this, or just the males, it is both, always. You can never take one away from the argument, or but a higher blame on one over the other. In that case lets address this from both sides.
Males: the percentage of males who are looking at porn, falling into sexual sin, or lusting/fantasizing after women these days is jaw dropping. Men are less worried about what these things can do to their hearts than ever before, and it’s sad. In the age of pornography, women have become less people and more objects. This is wrong, sinful, and sad. So what do men do? Pray that the Holy Spirit would transform our hearts and help us to see our sisters as made in God’s image. We need to ask God to help kill our sinful desires for women, and to have God give us a ‘game plan’ of sorts to do this (i.e. walk the other direction when a women is dressed inappropriately, abstain from objective material that might allow us to fall into temptation, not allow our fellow brothers to make women in to mere objects, etc, etc). It starts within the heart, and only God can transform our heart on this topic.
Females: the idol of ‘self-image’ has never been more woven into a society than it is in ours. We see ads, billboards, commercials, magazines with celebrities, “role models” and models telling our sisters in Christ that they are to look a certain way to be beautiful. These ads and such tell us what the current ‘trends’ are for fashion, and women our age are more prone to ‘buy’ into these fashion trends. However, we don’t want to just point to the society and blame them and the time period we were born into, we have to look at ourselves and ask where our hearts are at on this issue. I am not a girl, so my knowledge as to why women do this is limited, but I think there are some questions that women can ask themselves to help identify their heart. Will you substitute the way men look at you and perceive you for fashion ‘trends’? Do you want guys to fantasize about you based on your appearance? Who says that these things are fashionable? Did you know that causing a brother or sister in Christ to stumble is a sin? Do you care about other peoples hearts, or do you care more about your image? Do you think about modesty when you dress? Do you care about modesty? Do you care about your friends and brothers in Christ? This side of it, like the men’s, is a heart issue. Females are more worried about how they look than how they are looked at. Women need to think of not only themselves when they dress but also of others, especially the opposite sex. Only Jesus can transform girls hearts, and only then will girls realize that the way they are dressing is inappropriate and setting a bad example.
This topic is so crucial to Veritas, both male and female. The men need to set the example and admit that they are broken and that they will sin, but that through prayer and supplication the Holy Spirit can transform their hearts and help us view our sisters in Christ as more than just objects. The women in Veritas need to be leaders to the younger girls in helping them understand what is acceptable and not, and that by wearing certain articles of clothing you are causing your brother to fantasize about you and sin. I am and will continue to pray for my heart and other men’s hearts in Veritas and on campus that we would stop objectifying women, and also that women would stop wearing things that cause men to stumble.
Veritas 